These are so
bad they are "Good Ones."
peanuts walk into a bar. One was assaulted.
jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says, "I'll serve you, but
don't start anything."
sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve food
dyslexic man walks into a bra.
man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A
beer please, and one for the road."
antennas meet on a roof, fall in love get married. The
ceremony wasn't much but the reception was great.
cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste
funny to you?"
I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it
common?" "It's not unusual."
cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly "I was
artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe
you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" Exclaimed
guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies,
"Yes, I'm positive..."
man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is
there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet,
"let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his
eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have
to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because
he's really heavy."
went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
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