The Redneck at the Zoo

A small Alabama Wild Animal Park acquired a very rare species of gorilla.  Within a few weeks, the gorilla, who was a female, became very difficult to handle.  Upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem.  The gorilla was in heat.  To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.

Reflecting on their problem, the park administrator thought of Eddie Standen, a redneck part-time intern, who was responsible for cleaning the animal's cages.

Eddie, like most rednecks, had little sense, but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species.  The park administrator thought they might have a solution.  Eddie was approached with a proposition.  Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?

Eddie showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.  The following day, Eddie announced that he would accept their offer, but only under the following four conditions.

Revised 04/05/06

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