60║ above zero.       Floridians turn the heat on.

People in New England plant gardens.  

50║ above zero.       Californians shiver uncontrollably.

People in New England sunbathe.  

40║ above zero.       Italian and English cars won't start.

People in New England drive with the windows down.

32║ above zero.       Distilled water freezes.

Moosehead Lake's water gets thicker.

20║ above zero.       Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and hats.

People in New England throw on a flannel shirt.

15║ above zero.       New York landlords finally turn on the heat.

People in New England have the last cookout before it turns cold.

Zero║                          People in Miami die - or return to Cuba.

New Englanders close the windows.

10║ below zero.       Californians go to Mexico.

People in New England get out their Winter coats.

25║ below zero.       Hollywood disintegrates.

Girl Scouts in New England are selling cookies door to door.

40║ below zero.       Washington DC runs out of hot air.

People in New England let the dogs sleep inside.

100║ below zero.     Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.

People in New England get frustrated because "the caah won't staaht".

459 ║ below zero.    All atomic motion stops.  (Absolute zero on the Kelvin scale).

People in New England start saying, "cold 'nuff for ya?"

500║ below zero.     Hell freezes over.

Red Sox win the World Series.


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